LESSONS FROM HOLLYWOOD

The above picture has nothing to do with this blog. The lad pictured is just as full of mischief and spunk as he appears. He calls me Gramma. Someday I may be promoted to Grampa but as for now it’s okay.
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I was married in 1970. In 1971 my TV broke and we did without one for more than a year (newlyweds do not need a TV). My mom gave us one and we saw a change others did not notice. The polluting up of TV happened so gradually that we were amazed we were the only ones to see it. The decision we made was to not raise our children with a TV in the house. We have enjoyed certain movies and now own a Video machine. I have almost zero respect to the great pretenders in Hollywood. The following list is interesting and educational.

Lessons learned from Hollywood

1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.
4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape.
8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire.
14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.


HTOITA