ACTUAL HEADLINES

These two pictures are eyeball sensitive, a red-eyed kid and yellow-eyed dog. Maybe these photos bring out something in the soul. The kid is Andrew who is my Buddy. The other is a Buddy also. Buddy is better because of a shock collar. I have suggested Andrew’s parents use a shock collar on him but they say they don’t need it. He is a good kid but it’s fun to watch Buddy yip. The collar has a vibrate mode that I use. Usually I don’t have to use either.

ACTUAL HEADLINES...

• POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
• SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
• DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
• SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS
• FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE
• IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
• PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
• BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS
• EYE DROPS OFF SHELF
• TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS
• SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
• ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
• PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND, CRASH PROBE TOLD
• MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
• JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
• STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
• TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES
• 2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER
• KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS
• DRUNKEN DRIVERS PAID $1000 IN '84
• WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
• IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE
• COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
• ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

These make you wonder what has happened to the education system in this country. Oh, I remember, we turned it over to the left.

HTOITA