COMPUTER TERMS I UNDERSTAND

I used to place family pictures here but I F-disked my computer it will not receive new pictures and it also lost all the old ones I had. As a forklift driver I sympathize with the person who did this. This picture also reminded me we are in an election year. My choices are to vote for someone without the ability to make good decisions but lies convincingly about it and is slightly to the left of Karl Marx; or someone who gets along with Chapaquidic Ted and gets along better with the enemy than with his friends; or not voting. Hmmmm

Politically Correct Computer Terms:

State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI (pronounced "gooey"): What your computer becomes after spilling your coke on it.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.


HTOITA